Today we got some less than stellar news and my stomach turned a bit. Not that I lost faith but a deep uh oh rang through me.
Then as I sought God in my drive to Target I started to think about all the things that I thought God did to get us to that spot and honestly I started to wonder if it was him. You know it had to have been easy for the Israelites to do that when bad news hit in the promise land. That manna just grew on trees right? That was God. I remember specific prayers and how they specifically were answered.
So what so you do with that. God brought me here and stuff out of my control has happened. Where are His promises now? I promise I haven’t lost my faith. God never said his will would ne without obstacles.
On my drive I realized that when bad news happens and I get out of God’s way.. there becomes room for a miracle. And I figure that the badder the news.. the bigger the miracle. If you are in a spot like that doesn’t that get you charged up for what God is about to do. If not… check out the Bible. There is some seriously bad news that God turns into serious miracles. In the words of my hubby.. can I get an Amen?!
I am pretty excited to see what God does.
SIDENOTE: Neither Matt or myself have an illness nor have we lost a job etc. Can’t wait to share what God does.
Okay in the hunger or poverty meaning of the word starving I am not.. but I think all remotely creative people are starving in some way. We are either starving for attention, inspiration, approval or any number of ways to feed ourselves in order to produce. I am not new to the creative, growing up in music and drama, it has been something normal. One of my favorite presents was a ream of white paper and a set of markers. As I grew older I also enjoyed writing and sometimes poetry. The arts have always been a therapeutic outlet for me. What has been new as it being part of my job. Specifically writing and graphics. It has been a learning year and when I look back at things I produced a year ago it is sometimes hard to look at. I am so thankful I am around people who have let me learn as I go. I am also incredibly thankful for tutorials and training videos. Often I know what I want something to look like, I just don’t know how in the seemingly endless Adobe Creative Suite tools.
This past week has had me thinking who I live for. Am I starving for approval, attention, etc? I think you can walk into dangerous territory if you are. If I seek approval from people, I will always come up short. I can’t please everyone. But my simple desire to create something that would either reflect the glory of God or at some point get people to a realization of who He is and really to please God. I already have his approval- paid for long ago. If I am looking for attention I will be hurt when I don’t get recognition. I have the attention of God. If I look for influence and inspiration in places that are not of God, I will come up short. I will be starving if I am apart from God but full and fruitful with Him, seeking his approval, attention and inspiration.
So I’m okay. I would change about 12 things about my latest project. There are flaws and errors that probably only me and the 3 graphic designers at our church can see. But I’m learning and it was created to hopefully help people get what they need in a simpler, cleaner and less wasteful fashion. I can’t beat myself up just continue to move forward and pursue wholeheartedly Jesus.
Why are we as a culture so afraid to ask questions? We are told there are no stupid questions (even though there are some stupid questions). We find ways to make sure we don’t need to ask questions. As Christians we confuse asking questions with doubt and insecurity with God. Unfortunately when we don’t ask questions, we may never find answers and in return we may never grow. Stunted in fear, insecurity, or pride. Weak, vulnerable to the pray of big questions that others are not afraid to ask Christians… the worst being sometimes “Do you actually believe that?”
I was struck last week by the questions some young people had. They were amazing forming questions of faith. Questions that CS Lewis would be honored to answer. They were questions that many in the church would have scolded them for asking. It was really a thing of beauty. The beauty being that the Holy Spirit moved and I was actually able to answer the questions.
I think that is the real reason that Christians are afraid to ask questions. They are afraid of the answer. They are afraid that the answer might change them. They are afraid that the Holy Spirit might not give an answer. It is a trust issue.
If you trust that God is who he says he is: all knowning, all loving, all powerful (and I do) then you should trust that the answers are from him as they line up with his Word.
The Bible calls us to reason with God. I boldly ask questions to God so that I may grow in my faith and I may have a deeper understanding of who he is.
This weekend, amidst Easter (Jesus, the bunnies, and colored eggs) ask God questions. Lord, you really did all this for me? God how did these colored eggs get involve? How do I know I am saved? Jesus, when you were 12.. did you know you would go to the cross? Do you love me? Lord, is this all real? How do I know?
Ask. The ways He answers are suprising, beautiful, and always perfectly timed. Trust God enough to ask a question.