What it means to be married…

I have done a lot of thinking on this lately. I met with a young woman a few months back that was telling about her ideas regarding sex. She didn’t feel she would wait until she get married and yet she proclaims to be a Christian and follow a more conservative denomination. In the conservative movement, we spend a lot of time with our young people talking about purity, waiting and making good choices in regards to sex. I think perhaps the church even spends too much time on it. We have sufficiently scared kids about sex. Great. Have we prepared them for marriage? I’m not sure.

When I look at marriages in the church and divorces.. I often think why wait for that? It is really sad. I remember sitting at table with 7 middle school girls and each one had divorced parents. If marriage isn’t forever, why wait to share yourself with someone? If marriage is just another relationship, how is it different?

Now I am going to ruffle some more feathers by also stating that I am tired of hearing about “The Sanctity of Marriage.” For a lot of the same reasons. People divorcing left and right in all religions. How is our selfishness and pride anything to be sanctified? I get the point of the argument but shouldn’t we be fighting for the marriages in our church? Shouldn’t we be resourcing, counseling, and praying for the broken marriages of our friends in the pews?

Being married is fun… and difficult. It takes work, patience, selflessness and communication. It takes a lot communication. We out to teach our young people how to have integrity, amazing relationships and to be giving and selfless. When you care more about the other person than your own needs, some of the other stuff takes care of itself. For those of us who are married, let’s work to make it something that looks like it is worth waiting for. Something treasured and beautiful. That is how God designed it to be after all.


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